You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
