don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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