I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
