So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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