it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
