Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
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My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
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From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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