so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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