do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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