If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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