Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
