his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
