You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
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I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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