Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
