Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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