Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
