I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
