Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
