Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
