All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
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i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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