That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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