The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
