Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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