your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
