She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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