so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
