He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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