Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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