I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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