Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
