I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
