You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
