so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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