Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
