At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
