susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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