My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
