the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
