I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
