lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
