one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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