just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
