Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
is wine microwaveable?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
