she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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