thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
