does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
