Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
