one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
All the doctor said was why
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
