forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
