You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
