I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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