I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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