i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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