I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The adults are the big ones right?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
