I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
