Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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