My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
