shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
