we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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