There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
