Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
