apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
