there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
