i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
