he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
