Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
